Meet the New Addition to Our Family

Thomas Michael Tod

Born May 7th at 12:50pm

8 lbs. 10 oz.

21 1/2 inches long

I promise to blog more details in the near future, but for now, my time is limited. Falling in love all day everyday is keeping us very busy!

Momma's Boy

Sounds like we’ve got a little “momma’s boy” on our hands. He’s not wanting to leave his home. The doctor came into my appointment yesterday and said “You are still pregnant???? He must just really like you”. But this little momma’s boy phase he’s going through already is just fine with me. Of course I want him to come out so we can officially meet, but the fact that he wants to stay attached to me for as long as possible is comforting. It just means he likes me as much as I like him. :-)

Yesterday was our third weekly appointment and I am 3cm dilated. No contractions yet. We made one more appointment for next Thursday. If he hasn’t made his appearance by then, we are probably going to schedule an induction for the following week. I’d really like him to make the decision to come out on his own, but at the rate he is growing right now (1/2 a pound a week), I’m starting to get a little concerned about the size of him compared to the size of the opening he’ll be exiting from.

Hopefully my next blog will include a photo of Mr. Thomas Michael Tod!!!

Which Way Do I Go????

I think baby Thomas may be a little confused as to where he is supposed to come out at. He seems to be wanting to push himself out via my abdomen. It’s really cool to watch, but kind of painful. He uses anything he has in there that has some sort of point to it (knees and elbows mainly) and he presses it as hard as he can against my belly. At times I think his tactic might actually work because it feels like he could break the skin. But after a few good tries, he gives up and takes himself a little nap…only to try again in a few hours. Eventually, I hope he takes my advice and heads south.

First Weekly Appointment

Things are happening. We had our first weekly appointment yesterday and we found out that I am “a loose 1cm dilated and 90% effaced”. She’s expecting him to be somewhat early but it’s still hard to tell. He could come tomorrow, or he could come in 2 weeks. My due date is still 3 weeks away. I didn’t really expect there to be any progress because I still feel exactly the same as I have for the last few weeks. But, she did say that some women will have contractions for many many hours to get to the point where I am, so at least we are off to a good start.

Only in my dreams....

I had the worst dream last week and I woke up in tears. Here's how it went down...

Me, Tom and baby Thomas take a trip to Walmart. Tom and I go our seperate ways in the store and I keep baby Thomas with me. I walk over to the jewelry section and set Thomas down. (In a minute, I'll tell you why I set him down, which is the funny part of the dream). A bit later I see my friends Kim and AJ and they are in the furniture section picking out a rocker/glider for us for the baby's room. Next thing I know is my husband is walking towards us with baby Thomas in his arms and he is very angry. I realize that I left Thomas in the jewerly section. I walked off without him and continued shopping. In my dream I begin balling and that is when my alarm went off and I woke up. Even after I was awake, I couldn't stop the tears. I knew it wasn't real, but still...my mind was set on the fact that I left my child in Wal-Mart. It took a long hot shower to bring me back to my senses.

But, the funny part of the dream was the reason why I set Thomas down in the first place. I'm almost a little embarassed to say this, but here it goes. While we were in the jewerly section, I realized I had to pee. So instead of heading off to the bathroom, I decided to pretend I was looking at some jewerly on the bottom shelf...and I squatted down and peed right there on the floor in Wal-Mart. WHY WOULD MY MIND THINK OF DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT??? I kind of understand the "leaving the child behind" part of the dream because it probably symbolized the fact that children are a huge responsibility and they need constant care. It symbolized the fact that it is not just about me anymore. But what in the world does peeing on the floor supposed to symbolize???

Nesting Has Commenced

I FINALLY NESTED!!!! I did what seemed like 15 loads of baby Thomas’ laundry this past weekend. And every time the dryers buzzer went off, I grabbed the laundry basket with a huge smile and headed downstairs to pull all the tiny clothes out. Usually, our clothes will sit in the dryer until I’m sure they are covered with wrinkles. Then they get pulled out of the dryer, only to sit on the couch downstairs for at least 24 hours. Eventually they get folded and hung up, wrinkles and all. But not when it comes to baby Thomas’ clothes. He gets the VIP treatment in our house. I folded and hung up teeny baby clothes all weekend. Tom finished the shelving in Thomas’ room, so now everything has a place. His socks have a place, his towels have a place, his washcloths have a place…everything has its own little place and it has made me feel so much better. So much more ready and relaxed. When I’m home now, I don’t have the shut the door to his unorganized room because of the stress it caused each time I walked by it.

Now we just sit and wait…30 days to go.

Before I was a Mom

A cute little poem my step-sister Lynette sent me. I thought it was worth sharing..


Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.


Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.


Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.


Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.


Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.


Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment,
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom

Diaper Decision

I’m throwing around the idea of using cloth diapers. This is a very hard decision to make, because if we decide to do it, we have to stick with it because the start up cost of this could be around $400-$500 dollars. But, that is it…after you make that purchase, you are done spending. Well, that is not entirely true. Your spending could continue after that depending on if you want to purchase some of the cool, convenient, and eco-friendly accessories. But the cost will never be near what it costs to use disposable diapers for the next 2 ½ years. Plus, we can continue to use the same cloth diapers on our second child.

Until yesterday, I thought a cloth diaper was a thick white towel that needed to be folded a particular way, and pinned to the baby with a pink or blue safety pin. I pictured poop being scrapped out of it before it could be put into a washing machine and I pictured poop stains on every cloth diaper we own. I thought that using cloth diapers made you a bit of a “hippie” (no offence to anyone who uses cloth diapers, and no offence to any hippies). Apparently, times have changed. Nowadays, cloth diapers look just like regular diapers…but cooler. They come in a variety of colors and patterns, they come with covers to prevent possible leaking, they come with Velcro and pull ties to secure the diaper on your baby, and you can purchase flushable liners to put into the diaper.

The main problem I have with this is the laundry end of it. I have a hard time keeping up with my laundry now…I can’t imagine adding 10 diapers to it on a daily basis (plus all the regular laundry baby Thomas will be contributing). I also have to think about when I go back to work. Would my daycare be willing to work with cloth diapers? Would I still be willing to try to keep up with the laundry everyday…plus take care of the baby, the house, and the husband???? I can’t decide if the benefits out weigh the massive amounts of laundry.

It’s a big decision to make. And we will need to make it quick. Is it worth it????

Judgement

If I decide to eat something between the hours of 9-11am or 1-5pm, I feel the need to hide it. I feel like I’m being judged by my fellow employees. It’s almost as if I can hear their thoughts…”Really Melissa, do you really need to be eating again already? You just ate lunch…”.
Today was donut day at work. Each Friday 2 employees are assigned to bring in 2 dozen donuts each. Usually there will be a few leftover for us to munch on in the afternoon if we want. It is 1:36 right now and I just did what felt like “the walk of shame” from the break room to my desk with a donut in my hand. If I heard footsteps near me, I wanted to slip quietly into the nearest cubical until the footsteps were gone. Then, I eat it as fast as I can so there is no proof left behind. But…on the other hand, if I decide to eat a piece of fruit as a snack at 1:36 in the afternoon, I want to flaunt it. I take the long way back to my desk and occasionally stop and chat along the way. All the while, proudly holding my orange slices in my hand. If they could only read my thoughts… “Look over here…look at me…I’m eating a piece of fruit as a snack! Look at how healthy I am! I am taking the best care of myself because I love my baby more than I love donuts”.
But since they can’t hear my thoughts, I just eat my orange slices and go on about my business. One day I’ll realize that the people that I work probably aren't paying as much attention to my eating habits as I think they do. :-)

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

How am I supposed to teach my children healthy eating habits when I don’t eat healthy myself? I’m a very very picky eater. I blame my parents because I believe I may have been a little spoiled as a child. I remember my mom use to make me a hot dog and Macaroni and Cheese to eat during Thanksgiving dinner because I didn’t like turkey back then. Also, when she made chili, she would make two pots…one with beans, and one without for me and my brother. I hate the fact that I am picky because I feel like I’m missing out on what some people think is really great food. But I can’t change my taste buds. I can’t make myself like something that my stomach wants to reject. I think potatoes are gross. I don’t eat fries, potato chips, baked potatoes, etc. But I want my children to like them. I don’t mind cooking them, but how do I explain to my child that I don’t have to eat potatoes, but he does. What if he doesn’t like them either??? Should I still try to make him eat them?

Also, what about things like flossing everyday, making the bed, or saying prayers each night? These are things that I do not do on a daily basis, but they are something I will want my children to do. Does that mean I will start doing them in order to set a good example…or do most parents just use the “do as I say, not as I do” excuse?

I have a feeling that questions like these will be a big part of my life for the next 30 years…and I also have a feeling there are no “correct” answers.

What To Do With All These Questions!!!

Friday night I took some time and finally made myself “nest”. The instinct didn’t kick in, it was completely forced. And once I got started, I got stressed. I went through all of the shower gifts and began to put them away…only to find out I have no idea what to do with all this stuff. So many stressful thoughts went through my head like…Do I need to wash everything before I put it away? What if he never gets the chance to wear it before he grows out of it? Do onsies go in a drawer all their own? Do I put his towels and washcloths with our towels and washcloths or do those stay in his room? Do his lotions and soaps go in the bathroom, or in his room? Where do I put his pacifiers? Do my nursing pads go in his room? Should I hang up his jammies or put them in a drawer? All of these questions sound silly to me now as I type them because I’ve had time to think about it and talk to some friends about what they’ve done. (Kim saved the day when she mentioned using baskets in the drawers. It sounds easy enough, but it never crossed my mind). But Friday night I was in panic mode. So, in order to get everything out of the center of the room, I just shoved everything in drawers and cubbies unwashed and unopened. I’m even using his crib right now as a storage bin. Everything is unorganized, but at least it is out of the way for now. Once we get the shelving done in his closet, I think my stress level will start to deplete.

Busy, Busy, Busy

I think baby Thomas might be experiencing some sort of “nesting” today. He is having a very very busy day. Usually when I’m sitting, he is moving, but once I’m up walking around, he stops. Not today. He doesn’t have time to rest today because he is apparently busy doing something very important in there. I just picture him doing everything he can to prepare for his departure. Making sure his cord is straight, fixing his hair (which judging by my heartburn and indigestion, he’s gonna be a hairy little guy), and maybe even trying to get all that white stuff off of him. :-) I’m sure he wants to look his best for his arrival in just 7 weeks. Yes…I do know that it is probably a little weird that I think my unborn child is “tidying up” in my uterus before he leaves, but hey…these weird and random thought keep me entertained all day long.

Let The Baby Showers Begin

I had my first baby shower last weekend. These things are so much more fun when they are your own. :-) Thomas got lots of awesome gifts, and I ate lots of awesome food. They made chicken cordon blue, Caesar salad, bread, some pear/cream cheese concoction, cake and cheesecake. (Isn’t it a little sad that right now I’m blogging about the food at my baby shower instead of all the wonderful gifts Thomas got?) I can barely remember all the gifts he got because there were so many. I can’t wait until I get a chance to go through them all again and start putting things away. I have no idea where all of it is going to go. Plus, we have 3 more showers left. I’m going to have to start using the trunk of my car for storage.

3 Wishes

If I had 3 wishes when it comes to my pregnancy…

Wish 1 – Thomas is born a healthy, happy, beautiful baby
Wish 2 – Smooth delivery, free of complications
Wish 3 – I’m using this third one very selfishly. I wish that when I go to my next doctor appointment in two weeks, I could get some sort of reaction out of her like… “Holy cow! There is no way this little guy is going to wait until May 9th. He is ready to come out any day now.”

But yesterday, the only thing I could get out of her was “Everything is right on track with your due date.”

Now, I know that I should never wish for anything besides a worry-free pregnancy, just like I’ve had so far, but the suspense is killing me. I want him here now! I want to hold him, kiss him, feed him, rock him, smell him, memorize his face, watch him sleep, hear him cry, teach him, watch him learn, watch him grow. I can’t wait to feel that natural high that I know I’m going to be on once he gets here. The kind of high that makes you smile all day long. The kind of high that makes you think even poop and spit-up is adorable. I want to feel like a mother. I love my nieces and nephews SO SO much….and it is amazing to me to know that I’m going to love baby Thomas 100 times more. That kind of love and that amount of love will be completely new to me, but it’s something I’ve been waiting a long time for. 8 more weeks to go…..

Birthing Class

Tom and I had our birthing class today. It was a lot of fun and I think we both learned a lot. Some parts of this class freaked us out a little. In a video, they show an actual birth, and whoever was video taping this birth, was not afraid to use the zoom button. We got up close and personal with this woman and her baby. It was amazing to see, but totally gross. I couldn't turn away. Tom covered his eyes, but I could see him peeking out between his fingers...just like you would do when watching a scary movie.

I definitely feel more ready now than before. I'm very curious to see how I handle the pain of the contractions and I'm curious to see if I turn into a crazy person or an overly emotional person. In the last few months, I've seen traces of both in myself, so I'm anxious to see which one will win when it comes to labor.

On the back of the booklet the hospital gave us is a little poem. I tried twice to read it during the class, but couldn't get past the first paragrah without tears so I decided to save it until after. Once we got in the truck to head home, I read it...

It is important to me
that I spend a part
of the next few hours
here alone with you in the darkness

You and I will never be this close again,
by morning
you will be a tiny person
all your own.

No longer the kicking, demanding
bulge in my body
that I have grown
to love so well.

I pray God will safely guide you
on your journey tonight
and I ask him for the strength
to help you all I can.

Again you signal your impatience
to be free...
Time to wake up your daddy.

As you can guess, I cried all the way home!

Nester Wanted

Aren’t I supposed to experience “nesting” at some point? My house is in desperate need of this nesting instinct to kick in. I can barely make it up with the stairs with a load of laundry in my hands without taking a break half way up, let alone clean and organize my entire house. My energy is completely gone. If you or anyone you know happens to be going through this nesting stage, please have them drop by my house. I’ll be happy to point them in the direction of the vacuum, broom, mop, etc. I’m sure I could learn a lot from them while I’m parked on the couch with my feet propped up and a bag of Doritos in my hand.

Update

We had our first 2 week appointment yesterday (going now every 2 weeks instead of every month). Everything is as it should be. I’m measuring normal so the doctor is expecting a normal sized baby. This was very good news to hear since I was a huge baby myself. I believe I was 9lbs 4oz and my poor mother is a teeny tiny woman. Since I was so large and she was so small, I came out with a broken arm, black eyes, and completely swollen. Needless to say, I wasn’t the cutest baby…even my parents said so.

I’m 30 weeks now, so only 10 more to go. It seems like such a long time away, especially when I think about the fact that I have 10 more weeks to gain weight. Do you think if I start eating healthier at this point it would be a waste of effort (and not to mention a waste of the pudding pops I still have left in the freezer)? Going every two weeks to the doctor and seeing how much weight I’ve put on in that small amount of time is depressing. But, I guess it’s a small price to pay for what you get in return.

The nursery is all set up and ready for Thomas. While I was out on Sunday, Tommy surprised me and put the crib together which was the finishing touch on the room. When I saw it, I just cried and cried. It’s so easy to picture a little person in there now. I went over and looked into the crib to try to visualize how tiny Thomas is going to look in there. But my imagination was caught a little off guard when I looked in the crib and found my husbands new bow in it. When I asked him why his bow was in the crib, he said “I don’t know….I guess because for the next couple of months, it’s still my baby”. :-)

Daddy's ready!

The song “It Won’t Be Like This For Long” came on the other day and Tom and I were discussing it. For those of you who haven’t heard this song, the first verse says…

He didn’t have to wake up
He’d been up all night
Lying there in bed and listening
To his newborn baby cry

He makes a pot of coffee
Splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss
And says it’s gonna be ok

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon we’ll look back laughing
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
It won’t be like this for long

After we listened to that verse, Tom says “I can’t wait for that part”. I look at him a little confused and say “You can’t wait to lose sleep because of a crying newborn???” He says “Everyone has always said that a baby is going to change everything. I’m just really looking forward to having my entire world turned upside down”.

I’ve known for a long time that I was ready to be a parent. But after hearing him say that, I think he’s more ready than I am. This might have been the sweetest thing he’s ever said. Every time I think of those words coming out of his mouth it makes me smile. Although, I kind of wish I would have got those words on tape so I can play them back for him after a week of no sleep. But, I know that baby Thomas and I really lucked out when we came upon this guy. I can’t wait to watch him be a daddy! I have a feeling I’m gonna learn a lot.

Sleepless Nights

My nights come and go with less and less sleep. Some of the sleeplessness is due to having to pee a couple times a night, but most of it comes from the fact that it is getting harder and harder to roll over. Because of my sinuses, I am constantly rolling from side to side. I use to roll over without even waking up, but now I have to be wide awake for this strenuous activity. In order for me to roll over, I have to take off my blankets, remove the pillow I keep at my back and move it to the other side (A pillow at my back allows me to somewhat sleep on my back without being flat on my back). Now, the rolling over process can begin. Deep breath….and then I launch myself onto my back. Then I take a rest. Deep breath again….then launch myself onto my other side. By this point I’m breathing pretty heavily and I can hear my heart pounding. I then readjust the pillow at my back and then readjust my blankets. The entire time I’m doing this, baby Thomas is kicking and moving like crazy (I’m beginning to think this boy never sleeps). You’d think at this point I would be exhausted and I would fall asleep immediately. Nope! At this point, I realized I need to pee. So now, I have to go from laying down to standing up which is just as difficult as rolling over. After what feels like 5 minutes of rocking back and forth trying to sit up, I finally make it to my feet. Once I get back from the bathroom, I’m wide awake so I grab the remote and find something on TV to watch. Eventually, I fall into a deep sleep for about an hour…then….I need to roll over again and the whole process repeats itself. This must be the part of pregnancy that is supposed to prepare us for the many sleepless nights listening to a crying baby. Since Tom’s sleeping hasn’t really been effected by this…I make sure to wake him up a couple times a night too. I don’t want him to be unprepared when Thomas gets here. :-)

V-Day

On Valentines Day, Tom and I head to Wal-mart for some grocery shopping. We are about done and we remember that we need some shampoo and deodorant which is on the opposite end of the store. As we are walking over there, we walk by the jewelry counter. Tom says to me. Why don’t you stay here and look for you a new ring while I go grab our stuff. Surprised, I say “ok” with a huge smile on my face. I look for a few minutes and find two rings that I love. When he gets back I let him pick which of the two he liked the best. Below is what we decided on. It is so pretty and sparkly. I love it! It was a perfect Valentines Day gift.In all honesty, the story really did play out like I said above…but…the ring was $8 from the bargain basket and I had to buy it because my fingers are getting too fat and swollen for my real wedding ring. So now I have a beautiful CZ ring that has plenty of room for me to grow.

I Really Should Pay More Attention!

I have to tell you something funny I did while we were in Mexico. We were eating lunch. I got up from the table to head back to the buffet for some more salad (they had the most amazing salad). I get my salad and head back to the table. On my way back, I look down and notice there is food on my shirt. I get to the table, set my plate down and begin wiping off the food. Once I got my belly cleaned, I pulled out my chair and I looked up............and there were two strangers staring at me. One smiled and said "hello". I WENT TO THE WRONG TABLE!!!!! I actually set my food down at these peoples table and then stood there for at least 20 seconds while I wiped food off of my belly. They never said anything to me until I looked up at them. They got a good laugh out of it and so did I. I was in tears laughing so hard. I'd like to blame this little incident on my "pregnancy brain", but I really can't. This is totally something I would do on my own.

Viva La Mexico

Mexico was awesome! We had such a great time. I could have done without the flights to and from Mexico though. My pregnant butt doesn't quite fit in those airplane seats like it use to. And baby Thomas either LOVED or HATED flying...I can't decide. He was out of control from the moment we took off to the moment we landed. At one point I thought he was actually going to try to make a break for it and claw himself out. I just had to laugh at him. He would kick me on the left side of my belly and then immediately kick me on the right side. He was literally bouncing off the walls in there.

And once we got to Mexico, I noticed I left something back home........my ankles. They were nonexsistant the entire trip. My legs went from calf, directly to foot without any ankle inbetween. It was so strange to look down and not recognize my own feet. Since we've gotten back, the swelling has gone down and my ankles are slowing trying to reappear.

The food was great, the weather was great, the shows were great, everything was perfect on our trip. Here are a couple photos:

Tommy with a fat bellied budda!

And of course, me next to a fat bellied budda. People passing by got a kick out of this one.

This is a picture of us with a guy who creates amazing paintings only using his fingers. We had him paint us a picture using the colors of the babies room. It's baby Thomas' souvenier for his first trip to Mexico.

Babymoon

Tom and I are off to Mexico tomorrow for a little vacation with some of our family. Apparently, there is a specific name for this type of vacation. It is called a Babymoon. That is when a couple goes on vacation, while pregnant, to enjoy one last hoorah before they have their first child. I am very very excited about this trip. First of all….because of the beach, and second of all because of the all-you-can-eat buffets. Since I won’t be able to enjoy tequila or daiquiris, I plan on doing some damage to the buffets and snack bars. And my doctor thought that the holidays were a little rough on my weight…wait until she sees what 4 days in Mexico can do to me.

You all have a wonderful weekend and enjoy the nice weather we are supposed to have. I heard it will be in the mid to upper 60’s here in KC. It will be in the mid to upper 80’s in Mexico…..but who’s counting. :-)

Daycare

Tom pretty much finished up the baby’s room this weekend. He painted and put wainscoting on the lower half of the walls. It looks so cute in there. I find myself in this newly painted empty room a couple times throughout the day just standing there and smiling at the walls.

My list of things I freak out about is getting smaller and smaller. We’ve signed up for a birthing class and a breastfeeding class, we’ve ordered and received the baby bedding, we’ve finished registering, and now, painting the nursery has been scratched off the list. The two big things we have left are ordering the furniture for the nursery and begin the process of picking out a daycare. Picking out a daycare is going to be the most stressful. Deciding whether I want “Random Stranger A” or “Random Stranger B” to spend more time with my baby than I get to is going to be a very tough decision. Back home, deciding on a daycare would be a matter of a quick phone call to our cousin who watches children out of her home. We know for a fact that she would love Thomas and she would care for him effortlessly. But since we don’t have the luxury of family here in KC, we really just have to decide which stranger is the best stranger to care for our child. We’ve got two options to choose from which were given to us by friends who take their children there. One option is more convenient for me and Tom when it comes to location. The other option is a little more out of our way but it is where my good friend Kim takes her daughter Peyton (the future Mrs. Thomas Michael Tod). I would love for Thomas and Peyton to be able to be together throughout the week.

But who knows…once that little guy looks at me for the first time and he melts my heart away…you all might be lucky I even let anyone hold him….let alone let some stranger care for him on a daily basis. :-)

Insecure or Confident?

I was in line at Panda Express the other day getting me some delicious Kung Pao chicken. The place was totally empty except for a small group of teenagers in the corner. Since it was empty in there, it was pretty quiet, with the exception of the teens. I hear them start laughing so I look up at them…and they were all looking at me…while they were laughing. My immediate reaction is “why are they laughing at me?” Then, my secondary reaction was “they couldn't be laughing at me…I’m a cute little pregnant lady”. At that point I talked myself out of the thought that they could be laughing at me. But I still kept my head down as I moved through the line…just incase I had a “bat in the cave” or something like that. Teenagers scare me. I’ll do my very best to keep Thomas from acting like one someday!

Pregnancy Perks

Besides the obvious reason why pregnancy is so wonderful, it also comes with quite a few little perks. Most of them come from the thoughtfulness of my husband, but some come from the thoughtfulness of others.

1. Tom no longer allows me to take that long, cold walk from the store parking lot to the front door. He always drops me off at the door.
2. Pregnant Parking. Some stores actually offer parking spots that are for expecting or new mothers. Babies R Us (of course) and some Hy-Vee stores have this convenient little luxury.
3. Random strangers have told me to go ahead of them in the grocery store line. Very sweet.
4. Backrubs. Tom is usually pretty good about giving these out when they're needed.
5. Anytime anyone at work sees me carrying anything, they immediately take it out of my hands.
6. Tom gets mad at me anytime I try to take the trash out because that requires me to walk down stairs with my hands full. Not a good combination.
7. I can not count how many times a day someone will ask me how I'm feeling, how's the baby doing, when is my due date. I love talking about my pregnancy, and so many people give me the chance to do that everyday.

My First Unnecessary Hormonal Meltdown

Let me start off this story with a little background on dogs. I apologize if this part of the story makes you throw up in your mouth a little bit. It is very gross, but necessary to explain. Dogs have an anal gland in their rear ends that needs to be popped every now and then. Normally it will pop itself when the dog goes to the bathroom. But occasionally, if it does not get popped, it fills up and begins to leak out. The smell of this stuff is very foul. The only way Tommy and I can describe it is that is smells like “nickels”. It’s a very stout metal smell. A tiny drop of this stuff can contaminate an entire room. It is truly awful! Ok, you can wipe that nasty look of your face now cause the gross part is over.

Saturday night, me and the dogs decided to go to bed. Tommy was still watching TV, so we headed off to bed without him. I fall asleep. A couple hours later, I wake up to the smell of “nickels”. I was livid! I screamed at the dogs and kick them get out of my room (not knowing which one polluted the air in our room…they both got yelled at). I lock them out of the room, and I begin to change the sheets. Since the dogs had been on the bed, I assumed my blanket was where the smell was coming from. I am crying hysterically at this point. Throwing sheets and blankets down on the floor as hard as I could (disappointed cause the sound of sheets hitting the floor didn’t quite make the “mad” sound I was going for). Once the sheets were changed, the smell didn’t go away meaning that there was probably a tiny drop of this toxic stuff on the carpet somewhere. I couldn’t tell where so I doused the carpet with febreeze and then left the room to let the dogs outside. When I opened the door to let the dogs out I saw that there was about an inch of snow on the ground. For some unknown reason, this really set me off. I remember saying “what the f*%k is this all sh!t?” Now…I rarely ever throw the F word around… but apparently, the sight of snow made it necessary for me to cuss like a sailor. I had no idea it was going to snow. That’s enough reason to cuss and cry isn’t it?

Tommy had actually fallen asleep on the couch that night watching TV, so when I let the dogs in and they came running through the living room, Tommy picked his head up and sleepily says “what’s going on”? I yell “YOUR DAMN DOGS STINK”, and I stormed off to the spare bedroom to sleep. I laid there in bed and cried and cried and cried. Mad cause my dogs smelled, mad cause it snowed, mad cause Tommy wasn’t mad too, and mad cause all of these things making me mad were not rational reasons to be crying uncontrollably.

Eventually I began to calm down when I realized that my hormones had actually got the best of me. I’ve heard of this happening, but never thought I would experience it. I’m a pretty laid back chick. It takes quite a bit to get me worked up. Snow is not usually something that causes me to break.

I fell asleep and woke up again at 3:00am. At that time, I went and got my husband off the couch and then me, him, and the dogs all went to our febreeze scented room for a couple more hours of sleep.

The next morning, I had a good laugh at myself. I never knew I had crazy in me.

Bedding

Here is a picture of the bedding we picked out for baby Thomas. I wanted to post a picture because when I try to explain this to people, they get this awful look on their face and say "oh...that sounds nice". I know they all cringed as soon as I said the word "deer". I'm sure they were picturing a camouflaged room with dead deer heads on the wall. But I just fell in love with this when I saw it. Hopefully baby Thomas will too.

Baby Thomas is all hopped up on Caffeine

I am a pregnant caffeine drinker. I’ll pause while you take moment and gasp!!!!

I’ve read the books, and I know that caffeine is not highly recommended on a pregnancy diet, but neither is a box of Twinkies. I do drink caffeine, but I believe myself to be a responsible drinker. I crave Coke all day everyday. Before pregnancy, Dr. Pepper was my soda of choice but apparently baby Thomas likes Coke, so I allow myself one Coke a day. I don’t always drink one everyday, but I would say I have maybe 4 or 5 a week. And when I’m at home, I drink caffeine free Coke (which tastes just as good). So even when I do drink soda, I don’t drink that much. But every time I order myself a delicious glass of Coca-Cola Classic, Tommy says to me one of two things…”Be sure to spit out the caffeine” or ”If that boy comes out with 12 arms, I’m going to let him pop you in the head with every one of them.”. He always has a great way of putting things into perspective for me. You gotta love em’.

Long Story Short.....but still pretty long

I had quite an emotional day last Friday. I’m on my way to work in the snow. The roads are terrible so I was in no hurry. I was driving approx 10 mph for the most part of my drive because there was so much traffic. About half way to work (and an hour and half on the road) the traffic broke up a bit and I was now driving approx 25-30 mph. And then the guy in front of me slams on his brakes, which, of course, causes me to do the same. As soon as I hit my brakes, I lost complete control of my car. I’m starting to slide sideways, but then luckily (I’m not sure that is the best word to use)…the concrete median stopped me. Thankfully, I didn’t hit anyone and no one hit me, and thankfully, me and baby Thomas were ok…physically…but emotionally was a different story. I rationally ran a quick list of options through my head. 1. Call the police. 2. Call Tom. 3. Move my car from the side of the road so no one hits me. 4. Get out and look at the damage. After I was done with my list, I decided to call Tom first (who was traveling with work). As soon as I heard his voice, I broke down and all rationality went out the window. I was bawling! I couldn’t believe what I had just done and I couldn’t stop thinking about what could have been. Tom was very understanding and calming. He told me not to get out of my car, and to drive it to the next exit. I got off phone with him so I could drive…and I cried all the way to the next exit (which took about 10 minutes cause of the traffic). I parked my car in a parking lot and got out to look at the damage. It could have been much worse, but it wasn’t pretty. My bumper got pretty roughed up. There were some other minor damage to my wheel, headlight and fender. I called Tom again, and again, I couldn’t stop crying. I decided I was going to sit in that parking lot until I could drive again without crying. Tom eventually calmed me down. Once I got off the phone with him, I called work…and as soon as I started talking…I started bawling yet again. I told them I was not going to come in to work. Since I was crying so much I know I made the accident sound much worse then it actually was, but I really couldn’t control myself. Then I called my friend Kim and tell her why I wasn’t going to be at work. She got the worst of my hysteria. I couldn’t even make out words correctly when I was talking to her. I just couldn’t get out of my head “what could have happened”. My mind just kept replaying these vivid terrible thoughts. I was torturing myself. Finally, after talking with Kim, I felt calm enough to drive home. I white-knuckled the steering wheel (hands at 10 and 2 of course) all the way home. Once I got there, I fully focused on Thomas. I sat and monitored his movements just in case the accident (or my stress level) had shaken him up in any way. But he was just as bouncy as ever. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary with him, so at that point I finally started to relax a little. What could have happened, didn’t happen, so I was so very thankful. I know in a previous blog I talked about my improved driving abilities….scratch that. Now my walking and my driving require a whole lot of concentration. I’ve got some precious cargo on board and he needs me to be extra careful.

24 Weeks!

Isn't it funny that my boobs are pretty much twice the size they were before I got pregnant, but in this picture, they look non-existent compared to my belly!

My New Favorite Pass Time

I know this may not look like much, but this is truly my favorite thing to do nowadays. When the remote bounces a little bit, that is baby Thomas moving around. One time he kicked so hard the remote fell off my belly, but I can't get him to do that again.

Thank You Angie!

I wanted to say THANK YOU to my friend Angie Carter, who walked me through Target last night explaining the dos and don’ts of all the baby items on the shelves….mainly the breastfeeding section. In the beginning, that section scared the crap out of me. But last night Angie helped me tackle that section with no fear. I was armed with my registry gun and I was scanning storage bags and nipple soothers left and right. I know what works, what doesn’t, what I shouldn’t waste my money on, and what I should spend money on. Thank you very much Angie for taking the time to do that.

Weight

I was a little hesitant about blogging about this since it kind of bothered me a little. But by reading my friends blogs (Traci & Cori) over the last year or so, it has taught me to blog the truth and nothing but the truth.

We had a baby doctor appointment yesterday…

Dr. Maynard: “Well, your weight has jumped up there quite a bit since your last appointment. But you won’t get a lecture from me cause in the last 4 weeks, there have been a couple “eating” holidays, so we’ll let this one pass.”

Me: “Yeah…eating holidays…let’s blame it on that.” (I did not mention the Twinkie and Nutty Bar incident.).

From my December 15th appointment up until yesterday, I gained 10 pounds which equals a total of 20 pounds in the last 24 weeks. The 20 pound total does not bother me, it’s the fact that 10 of it was acquired in the last 4 weeks. I understand this is what happens when you get pregnant and I’m not complaining one bit. I’m willing to put myself and my body through ANYTHING to have our happy healthy baby Thomas. I know I’m going to gain weight and I’m really not that worried about it, but I realized yesterday that I’m gaining weight because I’m eating the things that I want and not eating the things that baby Thomas needs. He could care less if I eat a box of Girl Scout cookies or a bar of cream cheese. He’d probably rather I ate some celery sticks or a banana. So, I’m going to try things his way for a while. I don’t plan to deprive myself of cravings, but maybe now I can just eat one Girl Scout cookie instead of ½ the box. My goal for my next appointment is 7 pounds. Wish me luck!

Stretch Marks the Spot!

I found my first set of stretch marks on my hips near my back. They are faint, but they are there. Apparently my hips were not prepared to get so big back there, but my belly and my ass planned ahead and are stretching themselves to the limit flawlessly. Way to go belly and ass!!!! Keep up the good work!

"I know you can be overwhelmed, and you can be underwhelmed, but can anyone ever just be whelmed?" - Alicia Silverston, "Clueless"

I’m starting to feel a little overwhelmed with the preparations for the baby. We still have so much to do, and I just realized that next week, I will officially be in my 3rd trimester. Yikes! I know it will all fall into place like everyone says, but it is not in place right now, so I’m starting to freak out a little.

Here is a look at what goes on in my mind on a daily basis:
Pick out and order baby furniture…I’m gonna pee my pants…finish registering…where do I sign up for birthing class…quit stressing yourself out…order baby bedding…pick out a daycare…pick out a pediatrician…don’t fall down…how do I learn how to breastfeed…why did I just yell at Tommy…where did that weird dream come from…is it too soon to eat again…is it normal for my back to hurt this bad…why is it so hot in here…paint the baby room…what if Thomas turns out to be a girl…will my face ever clear up…did I remember my prenatal vitamin today…is that a stretch mark…my feet hurt…and so on…and so on…and so on…

All of this stuff makes for a pretty exhausting day. No wonder I’m in bed by 8:00.

A couple things I am more aware of now that I'm pregnant:

1. The speed limit. I believe that I have become a somewhat better driver. (Except for that minor accident I got into early on in my pregnancy...that doesn't count).
2. Intersections. For some reason, intersections make me nervous now. Every single one I go through, I have a brief and terrible thought that someone will run a red light a hit me.
3. Cussing. Before, when someone cussed, I never thought anything of it...but now, every cuss word stands out to me.
4. Other pregnant women. Tommy owned a motorcycle when we first started dating. I learned, as an unwritten rule, while you are out for a ride, you are to wave at every other motorcyclist you see, and they wave back at you. I thought this was really silly. I drive a Honda Civic.....I don't wave at everyone else who drives a Honda Civic, and they don't wave at me. But now I kind of understand. When I see a pregnant woman, I literally want to throw my hand in the air and wave it back and forth. I want to talk to her and ask her all the basic questions that I get asked. And I want to rub her belly.
5. My bellybutton. You could probably measure out a cup of water in my bellybutton right now. I'd like for it to pop out soon so I don't start losing things in it, like my keys or my cell phone.
6. Strangers. Now that I'm showing, lots of random strangers talk to me. It's actually very sweet. I think that pregnant women give off a sense of kindness and approachability. It's almost like we are wearing signs that say "ASK ME ABOUT MY BABY". I love the attention and I will jump on any chance to talk about the handsome little man growing inside me.

I've got a confession to make....

There is no easy way to say this, so I'm just going to blurt it out.............I ate an entire box of Twinkies and and entire box of Nutty Bars in a matter of 4 days. There, I said it. But in my defense, I was home on vacation with nothing to do but eat. Needless to say, Twinkies and Nutty Bars are no long allowed on the grocery list.

Oh, and for those of you who are counting, go ahead and add another mark on your "Melissa busted her ass again" list. Remember sliding down your stairs on your butt when you were little? I'm pretty sure that is exactly what it looked like to the tree trimming guy who was standing at the bottom of my stairs waiting on his check. Only I'm not little by any means, and my slippers flew off both of my feet and hit him. He was mortified....I just stood up, laughed uncomfortably and said "don't worry, I do this all the time". He asked me 100 times if I was ok, and after reassuring him that I was a pro at this whole falling down thing, he took his check and was out the door.

We're Back On-line!

I have been on vacation for the last 2 weeks so I haven’t been able to blog. We recently found out you can get this thing called “the internet” installed in your home. We had never heard of such a thing. We thought “the internet” was just a luxury you can use at work, but apparently this convenience can be brought right into your own home. I know…..sounds crazy right? But, it’s true. We hope to have it installed in the next few weeks. Man….what will they come up with next…..running water…..electricity…..who knows. :-)

The last few weeks have been great for me and baby Thomas. The first week we did what Tommy calls “The Cannonball Run”. This is where we drive to approximately 10 different houses, spread out all over Missouri, in a matter of 4 days. It is very stressful but always worth it to get to see all our family over the holidays. But once baby Thomas is old enough to understand Santa, our “cannonball run” days will be over. We plan to stay at home on Christmas day, open all our gifts and lounge around in our pj’s playing with new toys.

Thomas got lots of clothes and gifts for Christmas, which was such a nice thing to receive from our families. I didn’t expect any gifts for him at all, so it was a nice surprise. Last week I went through and washed all his tiny new clothes…which for some reason really opened my eyes. This baby has been a part of my life, my body and my thoughts for the last 22 weeks. But when I pulled his little tiny clothes out of my dryer and began folding them, he also became part of my home. It was so neat to actually see traces of a tiny little person in our home. It somehow makes me miss him even though he’s never physically been here. But his endless karate chops and sidekicks are a constant reminder that there is no need to miss him…cause he is right where he should be.