Monday, January 26, 2009

My First Unnecessary Hormonal Meltdown

Let me start off this story with a little background on dogs. I apologize if this part of the story makes you throw up in your mouth a little bit. It is very gross, but necessary to explain. Dogs have an anal gland in their rear ends that needs to be popped every now and then. Normally it will pop itself when the dog goes to the bathroom. But occasionally, if it does not get popped, it fills up and begins to leak out. The smell of this stuff is very foul. The only way Tommy and I can describe it is that is smells like “nickels”. It’s a very stout metal smell. A tiny drop of this stuff can contaminate an entire room. It is truly awful! Ok, you can wipe that nasty look of your face now cause the gross part is over.

Saturday night, me and the dogs decided to go to bed. Tommy was still watching TV, so we headed off to bed without him. I fall asleep. A couple hours later, I wake up to the smell of “nickels”. I was livid! I screamed at the dogs and kick them get out of my room (not knowing which one polluted the air in our room…they both got yelled at). I lock them out of the room, and I begin to change the sheets. Since the dogs had been on the bed, I assumed my blanket was where the smell was coming from. I am crying hysterically at this point. Throwing sheets and blankets down on the floor as hard as I could (disappointed cause the sound of sheets hitting the floor didn’t quite make the “mad” sound I was going for). Once the sheets were changed, the smell didn’t go away meaning that there was probably a tiny drop of this toxic stuff on the carpet somewhere. I couldn’t tell where so I doused the carpet with febreeze and then left the room to let the dogs outside. When I opened the door to let the dogs out I saw that there was about an inch of snow on the ground. For some unknown reason, this really set me off. I remember saying “what the f*%k is this all sh!t?” Now…I rarely ever throw the F word around… but apparently, the sight of snow made it necessary for me to cuss like a sailor. I had no idea it was going to snow. That’s enough reason to cuss and cry isn’t it?

Tommy had actually fallen asleep on the couch that night watching TV, so when I let the dogs in and they came running through the living room, Tommy picked his head up and sleepily says “what’s going on”? I yell “YOUR DAMN DOGS STINK”, and I stormed off to the spare bedroom to sleep. I laid there in bed and cried and cried and cried. Mad cause my dogs smelled, mad cause it snowed, mad cause Tommy wasn’t mad too, and mad cause all of these things making me mad were not rational reasons to be crying uncontrollably.

Eventually I began to calm down when I realized that my hormones had actually got the best of me. I’ve heard of this happening, but never thought I would experience it. I’m a pretty laid back chick. It takes quite a bit to get me worked up. Snow is not usually something that causes me to break.

I fell asleep and woke up again at 3:00am. At that time, I went and got my husband off the couch and then me, him, and the dogs all went to our febreeze scented room for a couple more hours of sleep.

The next morning, I had a good laugh at myself. I never knew I had crazy in me.


Cori said...

That made me laugh so hard! Thank you for being crazy with the rest of us. ;)

B-Mom said...

Ok, so when you told me the story this morning, I felt bad for you. But this time around, I laughed my ass off! :)

Luke and Benjamin's mom said...

That is really funny. Swearing at the snow--priceless!