Meet the New Addition to Our Family

Thomas Michael Tod

Born May 7th at 12:50pm

8 lbs. 10 oz.

21 1/2 inches long

I promise to blog more details in the near future, but for now, my time is limited. Falling in love all day everyday is keeping us very busy!

Momma's Boy

Sounds like we’ve got a little “momma’s boy” on our hands. He’s not wanting to leave his home. The doctor came into my appointment yesterday and said “You are still pregnant???? He must just really like you”. But this little momma’s boy phase he’s going through already is just fine with me. Of course I want him to come out so we can officially meet, but the fact that he wants to stay attached to me for as long as possible is comforting. It just means he likes me as much as I like him. :-)

Yesterday was our third weekly appointment and I am 3cm dilated. No contractions yet. We made one more appointment for next Thursday. If he hasn’t made his appearance by then, we are probably going to schedule an induction for the following week. I’d really like him to make the decision to come out on his own, but at the rate he is growing right now (1/2 a pound a week), I’m starting to get a little concerned about the size of him compared to the size of the opening he’ll be exiting from.

Hopefully my next blog will include a photo of Mr. Thomas Michael Tod!!!

Which Way Do I Go????

I think baby Thomas may be a little confused as to where he is supposed to come out at. He seems to be wanting to push himself out via my abdomen. It’s really cool to watch, but kind of painful. He uses anything he has in there that has some sort of point to it (knees and elbows mainly) and he presses it as hard as he can against my belly. At times I think his tactic might actually work because it feels like he could break the skin. But after a few good tries, he gives up and takes himself a little nap…only to try again in a few hours. Eventually, I hope he takes my advice and heads south.

First Weekly Appointment

Things are happening. We had our first weekly appointment yesterday and we found out that I am “a loose 1cm dilated and 90% effaced”. She’s expecting him to be somewhat early but it’s still hard to tell. He could come tomorrow, or he could come in 2 weeks. My due date is still 3 weeks away. I didn’t really expect there to be any progress because I still feel exactly the same as I have for the last few weeks. But, she did say that some women will have contractions for many many hours to get to the point where I am, so at least we are off to a good start.

Only in my dreams....

I had the worst dream last week and I woke up in tears. Here's how it went down...

Me, Tom and baby Thomas take a trip to Walmart. Tom and I go our seperate ways in the store and I keep baby Thomas with me. I walk over to the jewelry section and set Thomas down. (In a minute, I'll tell you why I set him down, which is the funny part of the dream). A bit later I see my friends Kim and AJ and they are in the furniture section picking out a rocker/glider for us for the baby's room. Next thing I know is my husband is walking towards us with baby Thomas in his arms and he is very angry. I realize that I left Thomas in the jewerly section. I walked off without him and continued shopping. In my dream I begin balling and that is when my alarm went off and I woke up. Even after I was awake, I couldn't stop the tears. I knew it wasn't real, but still...my mind was set on the fact that I left my child in Wal-Mart. It took a long hot shower to bring me back to my senses.

But, the funny part of the dream was the reason why I set Thomas down in the first place. I'm almost a little embarassed to say this, but here it goes. While we were in the jewerly section, I realized I had to pee. So instead of heading off to the bathroom, I decided to pretend I was looking at some jewerly on the bottom shelf...and I squatted down and peed right there on the floor in Wal-Mart. WHY WOULD MY MIND THINK OF DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT??? I kind of understand the "leaving the child behind" part of the dream because it probably symbolized the fact that children are a huge responsibility and they need constant care. It symbolized the fact that it is not just about me anymore. But what in the world does peeing on the floor supposed to symbolize???

Nesting Has Commenced

I FINALLY NESTED!!!! I did what seemed like 15 loads of baby Thomas’ laundry this past weekend. And every time the dryers buzzer went off, I grabbed the laundry basket with a huge smile and headed downstairs to pull all the tiny clothes out. Usually, our clothes will sit in the dryer until I’m sure they are covered with wrinkles. Then they get pulled out of the dryer, only to sit on the couch downstairs for at least 24 hours. Eventually they get folded and hung up, wrinkles and all. But not when it comes to baby Thomas’ clothes. He gets the VIP treatment in our house. I folded and hung up teeny baby clothes all weekend. Tom finished the shelving in Thomas’ room, so now everything has a place. His socks have a place, his towels have a place, his washcloths have a place…everything has its own little place and it has made me feel so much better. So much more ready and relaxed. When I’m home now, I don’t have the shut the door to his unorganized room because of the stress it caused each time I walked by it.

Now we just sit and wait…30 days to go.

Before I was a Mom

A cute little poem my step-sister Lynette sent me. I thought it was worth sharing..


Before I was a Mom,
I never tripped over toys
or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not
my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.


Before I was a Mom,
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind
and my thoughts.
I slept all night.


Before I was a Mom,
I never held down a screaming child
so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night
watching a baby sleep.


Before I was a Mom,
I never held a sleeping baby just because
I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small
could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.


Before I was a Mom,
I didn't know the feeling of
having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel
to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond
between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important and happy.


Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment,
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much,
before I was a Mom

Diaper Decision

I’m throwing around the idea of using cloth diapers. This is a very hard decision to make, because if we decide to do it, we have to stick with it because the start up cost of this could be around $400-$500 dollars. But, that is it…after you make that purchase, you are done spending. Well, that is not entirely true. Your spending could continue after that depending on if you want to purchase some of the cool, convenient, and eco-friendly accessories. But the cost will never be near what it costs to use disposable diapers for the next 2 ½ years. Plus, we can continue to use the same cloth diapers on our second child.

Until yesterday, I thought a cloth diaper was a thick white towel that needed to be folded a particular way, and pinned to the baby with a pink or blue safety pin. I pictured poop being scrapped out of it before it could be put into a washing machine and I pictured poop stains on every cloth diaper we own. I thought that using cloth diapers made you a bit of a “hippie” (no offence to anyone who uses cloth diapers, and no offence to any hippies). Apparently, times have changed. Nowadays, cloth diapers look just like regular diapers…but cooler. They come in a variety of colors and patterns, they come with covers to prevent possible leaking, they come with Velcro and pull ties to secure the diaper on your baby, and you can purchase flushable liners to put into the diaper.

The main problem I have with this is the laundry end of it. I have a hard time keeping up with my laundry now…I can’t imagine adding 10 diapers to it on a daily basis (plus all the regular laundry baby Thomas will be contributing). I also have to think about when I go back to work. Would my daycare be willing to work with cloth diapers? Would I still be willing to try to keep up with the laundry everyday…plus take care of the baby, the house, and the husband???? I can’t decide if the benefits out weigh the massive amounts of laundry.

It’s a big decision to make. And we will need to make it quick. Is it worth it????

Judgement

If I decide to eat something between the hours of 9-11am or 1-5pm, I feel the need to hide it. I feel like I’m being judged by my fellow employees. It’s almost as if I can hear their thoughts…”Really Melissa, do you really need to be eating again already? You just ate lunch…”.
Today was donut day at work. Each Friday 2 employees are assigned to bring in 2 dozen donuts each. Usually there will be a few leftover for us to munch on in the afternoon if we want. It is 1:36 right now and I just did what felt like “the walk of shame” from the break room to my desk with a donut in my hand. If I heard footsteps near me, I wanted to slip quietly into the nearest cubical until the footsteps were gone. Then, I eat it as fast as I can so there is no proof left behind. But…on the other hand, if I decide to eat a piece of fruit as a snack at 1:36 in the afternoon, I want to flaunt it. I take the long way back to my desk and occasionally stop and chat along the way. All the while, proudly holding my orange slices in my hand. If they could only read my thoughts… “Look over here…look at me…I’m eating a piece of fruit as a snack! Look at how healthy I am! I am taking the best care of myself because I love my baby more than I love donuts”.
But since they can’t hear my thoughts, I just eat my orange slices and go on about my business. One day I’ll realize that the people that I work probably aren't paying as much attention to my eating habits as I think they do. :-)

Do As I Say, Not As I Do

How am I supposed to teach my children healthy eating habits when I don’t eat healthy myself? I’m a very very picky eater. I blame my parents because I believe I may have been a little spoiled as a child. I remember my mom use to make me a hot dog and Macaroni and Cheese to eat during Thanksgiving dinner because I didn’t like turkey back then. Also, when she made chili, she would make two pots…one with beans, and one without for me and my brother. I hate the fact that I am picky because I feel like I’m missing out on what some people think is really great food. But I can’t change my taste buds. I can’t make myself like something that my stomach wants to reject. I think potatoes are gross. I don’t eat fries, potato chips, baked potatoes, etc. But I want my children to like them. I don’t mind cooking them, but how do I explain to my child that I don’t have to eat potatoes, but he does. What if he doesn’t like them either??? Should I still try to make him eat them?

Also, what about things like flossing everyday, making the bed, or saying prayers each night? These are things that I do not do on a daily basis, but they are something I will want my children to do. Does that mean I will start doing them in order to set a good example…or do most parents just use the “do as I say, not as I do” excuse?

I have a feeling that questions like these will be a big part of my life for the next 30 years…and I also have a feeling there are no “correct” answers.

What To Do With All These Questions!!!

Friday night I took some time and finally made myself “nest”. The instinct didn’t kick in, it was completely forced. And once I got started, I got stressed. I went through all of the shower gifts and began to put them away…only to find out I have no idea what to do with all this stuff. So many stressful thoughts went through my head like…Do I need to wash everything before I put it away? What if he never gets the chance to wear it before he grows out of it? Do onsies go in a drawer all their own? Do I put his towels and washcloths with our towels and washcloths or do those stay in his room? Do his lotions and soaps go in the bathroom, or in his room? Where do I put his pacifiers? Do my nursing pads go in his room? Should I hang up his jammies or put them in a drawer? All of these questions sound silly to me now as I type them because I’ve had time to think about it and talk to some friends about what they’ve done. (Kim saved the day when she mentioned using baskets in the drawers. It sounds easy enough, but it never crossed my mind). But Friday night I was in panic mode. So, in order to get everything out of the center of the room, I just shoved everything in drawers and cubbies unwashed and unopened. I’m even using his crib right now as a storage bin. Everything is unorganized, but at least it is out of the way for now. Once we get the shelving done in his closet, I think my stress level will start to deplete.

Busy, Busy, Busy

I think baby Thomas might be experiencing some sort of “nesting” today. He is having a very very busy day. Usually when I’m sitting, he is moving, but once I’m up walking around, he stops. Not today. He doesn’t have time to rest today because he is apparently busy doing something very important in there. I just picture him doing everything he can to prepare for his departure. Making sure his cord is straight, fixing his hair (which judging by my heartburn and indigestion, he’s gonna be a hairy little guy), and maybe even trying to get all that white stuff off of him. :-) I’m sure he wants to look his best for his arrival in just 7 weeks. Yes…I do know that it is probably a little weird that I think my unborn child is “tidying up” in my uterus before he leaves, but hey…these weird and random thought keep me entertained all day long.

Let The Baby Showers Begin

I had my first baby shower last weekend. These things are so much more fun when they are your own. :-) Thomas got lots of awesome gifts, and I ate lots of awesome food. They made chicken cordon blue, Caesar salad, bread, some pear/cream cheese concoction, cake and cheesecake. (Isn’t it a little sad that right now I’m blogging about the food at my baby shower instead of all the wonderful gifts Thomas got?) I can barely remember all the gifts he got because there were so many. I can’t wait until I get a chance to go through them all again and start putting things away. I have no idea where all of it is going to go. Plus, we have 3 more showers left. I’m going to have to start using the trunk of my car for storage.

3 Wishes

If I had 3 wishes when it comes to my pregnancy…

Wish 1 – Thomas is born a healthy, happy, beautiful baby
Wish 2 – Smooth delivery, free of complications
Wish 3 – I’m using this third one very selfishly. I wish that when I go to my next doctor appointment in two weeks, I could get some sort of reaction out of her like… “Holy cow! There is no way this little guy is going to wait until May 9th. He is ready to come out any day now.”

But yesterday, the only thing I could get out of her was “Everything is right on track with your due date.”

Now, I know that I should never wish for anything besides a worry-free pregnancy, just like I’ve had so far, but the suspense is killing me. I want him here now! I want to hold him, kiss him, feed him, rock him, smell him, memorize his face, watch him sleep, hear him cry, teach him, watch him learn, watch him grow. I can’t wait to feel that natural high that I know I’m going to be on once he gets here. The kind of high that makes you smile all day long. The kind of high that makes you think even poop and spit-up is adorable. I want to feel like a mother. I love my nieces and nephews SO SO much….and it is amazing to me to know that I’m going to love baby Thomas 100 times more. That kind of love and that amount of love will be completely new to me, but it’s something I’ve been waiting a long time for. 8 more weeks to go…..

Birthing Class

Tom and I had our birthing class today. It was a lot of fun and I think we both learned a lot. Some parts of this class freaked us out a little. In a video, they show an actual birth, and whoever was video taping this birth, was not afraid to use the zoom button. We got up close and personal with this woman and her baby. It was amazing to see, but totally gross. I couldn't turn away. Tom covered his eyes, but I could see him peeking out between his fingers...just like you would do when watching a scary movie.

I definitely feel more ready now than before. I'm very curious to see how I handle the pain of the contractions and I'm curious to see if I turn into a crazy person or an overly emotional person. In the last few months, I've seen traces of both in myself, so I'm anxious to see which one will win when it comes to labor.

On the back of the booklet the hospital gave us is a little poem. I tried twice to read it during the class, but couldn't get past the first paragrah without tears so I decided to save it until after. Once we got in the truck to head home, I read it...

It is important to me
that I spend a part
of the next few hours
here alone with you in the darkness

You and I will never be this close again,
by morning
you will be a tiny person
all your own.

No longer the kicking, demanding
bulge in my body
that I have grown
to love so well.

I pray God will safely guide you
on your journey tonight
and I ask him for the strength
to help you all I can.

Again you signal your impatience
to be free...
Time to wake up your daddy.

As you can guess, I cried all the way home!

Nester Wanted

Aren’t I supposed to experience “nesting” at some point? My house is in desperate need of this nesting instinct to kick in. I can barely make it up with the stairs with a load of laundry in my hands without taking a break half way up, let alone clean and organize my entire house. My energy is completely gone. If you or anyone you know happens to be going through this nesting stage, please have them drop by my house. I’ll be happy to point them in the direction of the vacuum, broom, mop, etc. I’m sure I could learn a lot from them while I’m parked on the couch with my feet propped up and a bag of Doritos in my hand.

Update

We had our first 2 week appointment yesterday (going now every 2 weeks instead of every month). Everything is as it should be. I’m measuring normal so the doctor is expecting a normal sized baby. This was very good news to hear since I was a huge baby myself. I believe I was 9lbs 4oz and my poor mother is a teeny tiny woman. Since I was so large and she was so small, I came out with a broken arm, black eyes, and completely swollen. Needless to say, I wasn’t the cutest baby…even my parents said so.

I’m 30 weeks now, so only 10 more to go. It seems like such a long time away, especially when I think about the fact that I have 10 more weeks to gain weight. Do you think if I start eating healthier at this point it would be a waste of effort (and not to mention a waste of the pudding pops I still have left in the freezer)? Going every two weeks to the doctor and seeing how much weight I’ve put on in that small amount of time is depressing. But, I guess it’s a small price to pay for what you get in return.

The nursery is all set up and ready for Thomas. While I was out on Sunday, Tommy surprised me and put the crib together which was the finishing touch on the room. When I saw it, I just cried and cried. It’s so easy to picture a little person in there now. I went over and looked into the crib to try to visualize how tiny Thomas is going to look in there. But my imagination was caught a little off guard when I looked in the crib and found my husbands new bow in it. When I asked him why his bow was in the crib, he said “I don’t know….I guess because for the next couple of months, it’s still my baby”. :-)

Daddy's ready!

The song “It Won’t Be Like This For Long” came on the other day and Tom and I were discussing it. For those of you who haven’t heard this song, the first verse says…

He didn’t have to wake up
He’d been up all night
Lying there in bed and listening
To his newborn baby cry

He makes a pot of coffee
Splashes water on his face
His wife gives him a kiss
And says it’s gonna be ok

It won’t be like this for long
One day soon we’ll look back laughing
At the week we brought her home
This phase is gonna fly by
So baby just hold on
It won’t be like this for long

After we listened to that verse, Tom says “I can’t wait for that part”. I look at him a little confused and say “You can’t wait to lose sleep because of a crying newborn???” He says “Everyone has always said that a baby is going to change everything. I’m just really looking forward to having my entire world turned upside down”.

I’ve known for a long time that I was ready to be a parent. But after hearing him say that, I think he’s more ready than I am. This might have been the sweetest thing he’s ever said. Every time I think of those words coming out of his mouth it makes me smile. Although, I kind of wish I would have got those words on tape so I can play them back for him after a week of no sleep. But, I know that baby Thomas and I really lucked out when we came upon this guy. I can’t wait to watch him be a daddy! I have a feeling I’m gonna learn a lot.

Sleepless Nights

My nights come and go with less and less sleep. Some of the sleeplessness is due to having to pee a couple times a night, but most of it comes from the fact that it is getting harder and harder to roll over. Because of my sinuses, I am constantly rolling from side to side. I use to roll over without even waking up, but now I have to be wide awake for this strenuous activity. In order for me to roll over, I have to take off my blankets, remove the pillow I keep at my back and move it to the other side (A pillow at my back allows me to somewhat sleep on my back without being flat on my back). Now, the rolling over process can begin. Deep breath….and then I launch myself onto my back. Then I take a rest. Deep breath again….then launch myself onto my other side. By this point I’m breathing pretty heavily and I can hear my heart pounding. I then readjust the pillow at my back and then readjust my blankets. The entire time I’m doing this, baby Thomas is kicking and moving like crazy (I’m beginning to think this boy never sleeps). You’d think at this point I would be exhausted and I would fall asleep immediately. Nope! At this point, I realized I need to pee. So now, I have to go from laying down to standing up which is just as difficult as rolling over. After what feels like 5 minutes of rocking back and forth trying to sit up, I finally make it to my feet. Once I get back from the bathroom, I’m wide awake so I grab the remote and find something on TV to watch. Eventually, I fall into a deep sleep for about an hour…then….I need to roll over again and the whole process repeats itself. This must be the part of pregnancy that is supposed to prepare us for the many sleepless nights listening to a crying baby. Since Tom’s sleeping hasn’t really been effected by this…I make sure to wake him up a couple times a night too. I don’t want him to be unprepared when Thomas gets here. :-)

V-Day

On Valentines Day, Tom and I head to Wal-mart for some grocery shopping. We are about done and we remember that we need some shampoo and deodorant which is on the opposite end of the store. As we are walking over there, we walk by the jewelry counter. Tom says to me. Why don’t you stay here and look for you a new ring while I go grab our stuff. Surprised, I say “ok” with a huge smile on my face. I look for a few minutes and find two rings that I love. When he gets back I let him pick which of the two he liked the best. Below is what we decided on. It is so pretty and sparkly. I love it! It was a perfect Valentines Day gift.In all honesty, the story really did play out like I said above…but…the ring was $8 from the bargain basket and I had to buy it because my fingers are getting too fat and swollen for my real wedding ring. So now I have a beautiful CZ ring that has plenty of room for me to grow.